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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25615912">Strangers at Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightshades/pseuds/midnightshades'>midnightshades</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Mentions of Substance Abuse, Panic Attacks, Self-Esteem Issues, Underage Prostitution (Past)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:21:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,787</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25615912</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightshades/pseuds/midnightshades</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Cas dragged him back from the edge of losing himself, Dean never realized he was already far gone.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Strangers at Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A few things to be noticed:</p><p>1. Even though I have not tagged the fic 'Underage', I have mentioned it in the Additional tags because it's a reference to the past and only a single scene. Please read the tags carefully.<br/>2. This is not canon compliant, as in, the events preceding the beginning of this fic has not happened as it took place in the show.<br/>3. This fic has no beta. If you pick up any mistakes, please let me know in the comments.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Strangers at Heart</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dean waits for the guy to fish his thirty bucks out of his wallet and place it on the sink, his knees already starting to ache a little.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Dammit!" he curses under his breath, fingers fiddling with the bills. "You got change for a fifty, boy?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Dean laughs, "I wouldn't be here if I did." He says. "Not gonna put my mouth where your money ain't gonna be." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Mouthy for a whore." The man chuckles. Dean doesn’t say anything, not wanting to go back to his brother with a busted up face so he digs his fingernails into his own thigh instead. It's hilarious how he gets offended for being called a whore when he's on his knees in a dingy men's room tucked in the corner of a no name bar, waiting to suck some John's dick to feed his brother.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Tell you what, give me the fifty and I'll let you fuck my mouth." Dean says, putting on one of his ‘customer is always right’ grins he's got up his sleeve. Sammy's starting fifth grade and the expenses are going to skyrocket, with new books and shirts that don't hang off his shoulders like on a bent up cloth hanger. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The man seems to be hesitant for a second. "Fine, you have a deal." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The time lag between the fifty bucks landing on the sink and a dick being shoved into his mouth is nonexistent. He grabs his hair a little too tightly, making Dean whine but not in the good way. The man takes it as a cue to shove his dick even further down Dean's throat, the intrusion making his eyes water. Dean tries his best not to choke as the guy fucks his throat relentlessly. He concentrates on the pain on his thighs as his fingernails dig into the meat there through the denim. Anything but this. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Look at me, pretty boy." the man croaks, breathy pants between thrusts. "Open your eyes." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Dean refuses to open his eyes, in fact, shutting it even tighter. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> This time, the voice that speaks is gentle. "Look at me, Dean."  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Dean feels his chest crumble. No. Fuck, no. He can't know his name. It can't be possible. He feels the tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes, the sting of it and the tightness in his chest making him go dizzy. He feels himself straining against his jeans which brings on a new wave of shame and disgust. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Dean, open your eyes. Please." The tone is so gentle, it makes him want to weep. He's tired and just wants to be over with this. A warm hand cups his chin.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Dean, please stay with me." That does it for him. It's when he tries to pull away that he registers the absence of a dick in his mouth. He slowly opens his eyes, the stingy bathroom dissolving.</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>"Cas?" Dean blinks a few more times, finding it easy to focus on the angel without squinting this time. Cas doesn't glow like he did the last time he was awake, nor does he see any wings. </p><p>"Dean, how are you feeling?" Dean notices Cas dropping the syringe on the metal rack next to him.</p><p>"Don't wanna stab you, if that's what you mean." Dean replies, tugging at the restraints on his wrists. "Let me out, won't you?"</p><p>Cas meets his eyes, tired and hollow. "I cannot let you out until I'm sure you're completely cured." </p><p>"Since when do you not trust me?"</p><p>"Since you became a demon and left your brother and me without a word." Cas deadpans. "I'm sure I don't have to remind you."</p><p>Dean remembers what he did. All of it, in vivid detail. Even then, he can't stop the anger swelling in his chest. </p><p>"Shoulda just let me be." Dean spits out through gritted teeth. "I didn't ask you to drag me back here." A sick part of him enjoys the way Cas curls his palm into a fist, clearly restraining from punching Dean.</p><p>"Could've just wiped me out of your life once and for all." He continues, because he wants to get punched. Anything, <em> absolutely anything, </em>to quench the ache in his chest from wanting to run straight into the angel's arms. </p><p>"Is that what you would have done if one of us were in your place?" Cas asks, eyes fixed somewhere on the wall past Dean's shoulder. </p><p>"Probably." Dean lies. He hates lying to Cas. He means too much to Dean. "I'm a dick like that."</p><p>Cas scoffs, rubbing a hand over his face.</p><p>"Cas?" Sam pokes his head in, eyes darting back and forth between him and the angel. A gaping hole opens in Dean's chest as he sees his little brother, wanting nothing more than to hug him. </p><p>"Your brother is awake." Cas says, tone void of any emotion. "You might want to test him."</p><p>Sam walks in, only a few steps of his moose legs enough to bring him to the threshold of the demon's trap. The uncapping of a flask is followed by an unnecessary amount of holy water to his face. It doesn't hurt this time. Not on his skin at least.</p><p>"Dean…" Sam is by his side, untying the restraints from his wrist before pulling him into a bear hug. He lets himself be held for a minute, eyes scanning over the otherwise empty room. No trace of Castiel.</p><p>"Don't cry, Sammy," Dean teases, "I'll make sure to leave you at a daycare next time."</p><p>Sam pulls back, eyes a little glassy. "I got you a shit ton of junk food." He says. "Once you're done clogging your arteries, I'm gonna kick your ass."</p><p>Dean grins at his brother. "Fair enough." </p><p>"Cas, you wanna tell-" Sam stops mid sentence, probably registering the absence of the person he's talking to. "Where's Cas?"</p><p>"He left a while ago."</p><p>Sam frowns, "What did you say to him?"</p><p>"Fuck." Dean runs a hand through his hair, climbing out of his chair, every joint in his body protesting. "Nothing good."</p><p>"Keep doing that," Sam scoffs, "even after what he did for you."</p><p>Dean blinks at his brother, having no clue what he's hinting at.</p><p>"Shit. He didn't tell you..." Sam fumbles with his words. "Dean, we couldn't cure you like we tried to cure Crowley."</p><p>Dean's heart hammers in his chest. "Then?"</p><p>"We had to use an angel's grace along with the blood to bring you back." </p><p>Despite his terrible math skills, it doesn't take him long to put the two and two together.</p><p>"Son of a bitch." A cold fist closes around his chest and Dean feels weak in his knees. "He...<em> shit. </em>"</p><p>"I told him so many times we'd find something else…" Sam babbles. "You know how he is. He wouldn't have it any other way."</p><p>Dean swallows down the lump in his throat, a dry laugh escaping his chest.</p><p>"He's too good to me."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Dean finds Cas in the war room, staring at a glass of water.</p><p>"You gotta drink it, you know." Dean jokes, his heart rattling like rocks in a tin can in his chest. Cas looks up at him, blue eyes cold and far away. Dean swallows with an audible click, "Heya, Sunshine."</p><p>"Hello, Dean." It's empty and dry. Nothing less than Dean deserves. "How are you doing?"</p><p>"I'm great, Cas." Dean sits down next to him, enough distance between them for him to not want to curl into himself and disappear. "How are <em> you </em>? Heard you did something really stupid."</p><p>"You might find your own life worthless but I don't." </p><p>"Cas…" Dean feels the familiar sting behind his eyelids. "My life is not worth giving up your grace for."</p><p>Cas laughs, the coldness in his tone making Dean flinch. "I'm not going to apologize for saving my friend."</p><p>"Cas… I didn't... <em> Fuck. </em>" He needs a drink. "I should be the one apologizing."</p><p>"You don't need to." Cas mutters. "And, if you're disappointed in me not having my powers anymore, I will understand if you want me to leave."</p><p>"What the fuck, man?" Dean's heart drops to the floor. "You're family, Cas. Fuck your powers, I don't need those to lo- <em> want </em> you here." The gushing of blood in his ears becomes stronger. </p><p>"Very well." Cas pushes his chair back, standing on his feet. "That was all I had left to give."</p><p>"Cas, please…" </p><p>Cas turns to him, dropping to his knees, making Dean try really hard to not want to crowd back against his chair. A gentle hand cups his chin and Dean breaks into pieces.</p><p>"If I have anything else left to give, you can take it from me. All of it." Cas' voice is barely a whisper and Dean falls apart under that gaze, wanting nothing more than to give himself over to the man in front of him. But, Cas deserves better. Cas deserves every good thing to grace this planet. And Dean is not one of them.</p><p>"I just need you here, Cas." He manages, eyes staring anywhere but at Cas, his own selfish needs taking over him.</p><p>"I'm here." Cas says, resting his hand on Dean's lap. "I want to be here as long as you will have me."</p><p>Dean Winchester is nothing more than witty one liners and carefully crafted bravado, but this time, nothing helps to stop the dam from breaking. When he meets Castiel's eyes, it takes him all of his strength to not blurt out the three precious words he's been nurturing in his chest for years on end. </p><p>“This is your home too, buddy.” He assures, ignoring the way his voice shakes. </p><p>“Thank you, Dean.” Cas stands to his feet, patting him on the shoulder. Dean resists every urge to pull the man closer. “You should get some rest.”</p><p>It’s hours later that Sam wanders into the War room, a questioning look in his eyes.</p><p>“I’m fine, Sammy.” Dean blurts out.</p><p>“I wonder when you’ll stop saying that and admit you’re not.” Sam grumbles. “Did you talk to Cas?”</p><p>“Not really.”</p><p>“Figured.” </p><p>“What were you expecting?” Dean snaps, “For us to kiss and make up just like that, ignoring all the crap I did and everything I made him go through?”</p><p>“I’m not the one to speak for Cas but giving up his grace was his own choice, Dean.” Sam snaps back. “And for what you did while you were a demon, even if I couldn’t forgive you, which I do by the way, he would still vouch for you.”</p><p>“Right.” Dean scoffs, “I can’t fucking do this without a drink.” </p><p>“Yeah, because that’s how you deal with stuff.” Sam calls behind him as he makes his way to the kitchen. </p><p>Sam is wrong this one time. That’s how he <em> doesn’t </em> deal with stuff.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>"Last week this time you were half demon, and you," Sam points a finger at Cas, "you were half angel."</p><p>"Yeah, and that was last week. Now we’re both human." Dean counters. "I'm fine, Sammy. A hunt would only do me good."</p><p>"I'm fine too." Cas chides in.</p><p>After a week of locking himself up in his room almost all the time and barely being able to look Cas in the eye, the idea of being left alone in the bunker with Cas makes his stomach drop. Dean feels pathetic. After everything Cas did for him, he can't even find in himself to talk to the guy without wanting to move to Mars. Cas doesn't deserve this, any of it. </p><p>"Alright." Sam sighs. "But if anything goes sideways, we leave that second." </p><p>Dean rolls his eyes, "Fine, whatever.”</p><p>They pack their stuff and Dean's the first one out of the door, the prospect of getting to take Baby out after a week numbing some of the throbbing in his chest. Cas is silent throughout, his gaze a physical thing on the back of his neck, making Dean go cold.</p><p>Dean clears his throat, "So, what do we have?"</p><p>"Dennis Heckle. 47, Caucasian. Found in a pool of his own guts in a room locked from the inside."</p><p>Dean scrunches up his nose. "Gross." </p><p>Sam rolls his eyes, "You've been to hell." He reminds, helpfully. "Anyways, the guy was divorced. Wife lives in Montgomery."</p><p>"No kids?" </p><p>"Nothing mentioned here." Sam replies. "You got anything, Cas?"</p><p>"Nothing other than the idea that it might be a ghost." Cas says from the backseat. </p><p>The drive is silent after that and Sam dozes off next to him. </p><p>"You can nap too, if you want." Dean says.</p><p>"I'm alright." Cas mumbles, his voice telling another story. "If you are tired, let me know. I can drive for a while."</p><p>Dean braves his eyes up to Cas in the rearview mirror, "This ain't my first rodeo, Cas."</p><p>"I’m not an idiot, Dean." Cas replies. "I suggest we stop for the night."</p><p>Stop for the night. He can do that. "I'll pull over at the next motel."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Dean splashes a handful of water on to his face, watching it grip down in the dirty mirror. He never looked in the mirror while he was a demon, terrified of what might look back at him. His eyes might be green now, but his heart still feels dark like ink, blood tainted with the lives lost by his own hand. Back then it didn’t feel anything. His mind was hollow and the lines between right and wrong were all blurry. As things got clearer, the walls came crashing down, suffocating him.</p><p>He wipes his face on a towel, tossing it on the sink counter and walks back into the room to find Cas curled up on the couch, only a mop of dark hair poking out of the blanket wrapped around him. </p><p>"I'll take the couch, Cas. You can have the bed." Dean offers.</p><p>"I'm fine, thank you." Cas slurs, voice thick with sleep. </p><p>Dean stands there, staring at the curled up figure, not sure what to say next until Sam clears his throat from his bed. Dean sighs and heads back to the empty bed, feeling no better than he did in the past week. Sam flickers the lights off and Dean watches the dark silhouette of Cas on the couch, sound asleep. The sight does nothing to ease the pain in his chest, having Cas so close but knowing not an atom of him deserves to be anywhere near the former angel. Dean sometimes wishes he could start over, clean slate and everything. Spend another eternity trying to redeem himself worthy enough for Cas. But reality is a bitch. </p><p>Even after four hundred and twenty eight sheeps, Dean is wide awake, his heart drumming hard against his ribcage. He grabs his jacket and slides out of the room, careful not to wake anyone up. It takes only a few steps before he hears the click of a door behind him. </p><p>"Dean?" </p><p>He doesn't turn around when he answers, "Not running away, Cas."</p><p>"I can never be sure." Cas replies casually, footsteps echoing closer. Dean lets himself be forced to face Cas, feeling himself shatter. "What am I doing wrong, Dean?"</p><p>Dean snaps his eyes up at that. "Nothing, Cas. You know that."</p><p>"Then why won't you even look at me?" Cas asks, the words hanging heavy in the air. "You are the only thing I have left, Dean. It hurts to be next to you and still feel like a stranger."</p><p>Dean is exhausted and broken and terrified of his own mind. Trying to breathe hurts, so he doesn't. Instead, he yanks Cas forward into a kiss, every inch of his being screaming at him to not to dump his pathetic self on the man. But, Dean might die if he doesn't. He will die.</p><p>Cas' lips are slightly chapped, but warm against his own, and Dean all but melts into the kiss. It feels better than anything he has ever felt even while it feels like shards of glass are cutting into his chest. Cas takes less than a second to kiss him back, hands coming to cup his face on both sides. </p><p>In that night, in the hallway of a dingy motel, Dean has everything he ever wanted and everything he never deserved.</p><p>He pulls back, trembling hands gripping Cas' arm. "Shit… I'm sorry. You don't have to carry my crap for me."</p><p>"Dean, please..." He doesn't know what Cas is asking for but he knows he's got nothing good enough to give, except for his battered and broken self. </p><p>He yanks the man forward into another kiss, telling himself it's for Cas. It's more desperate than earlier, his hands finding his way into Cas' hair, feeling the need to have him closer than physically possible.</p><p>"Dean," Cas pants against his lips, as though his name is something delicate and precious. </p><p>"I got you, Cas." Dean whispers, shoving one hand into his pocket to find his keys. Once he closes his hand around the cold metal, he grabs Cas and walks towards the Impala.</p><p>"Dean, stop." Cas grabs him by the elbow, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."</p><p>"I want to." Dean ushers. "Please, Cas, let me do this." Cas eyes him densely, making his nerves light on fire under the scrutiny. "Fuck, if you don't want this then just-"</p><p>"I do." Cas cuts him off. "More than anything, Dean. But, not if you're not okay with it."</p><p>"I'm more than okay." Dean lies, though only partially. He wants Cas like he wants air, but Dean is not the kind of guy who deserves to breathe. He wants to do this for Cas, give himself over to Cas until he breaks enough to not feel anything anymore.</p><p>"Okay." Cas whispers. "Okay, Dean."</p><p>That's all the confirmation he needs to open the door and push Cas down against the seat, straddling his things. The space is a little two small for two large men but he makes do. He leans forward, nipping at Cas' jaw, the scratch of stubble like electricity through him. He feels Cas' half hard length against his torso and doesn't wait for anymore foreplay, because Cas doesn't want Dean like that. There is no reason for him to want to.</p><p>"Dean, kiss me, please." Cas pants, eyes closed and head lulled back against the foggy window. </p><p>"Gotta take care of little Cas." Dean smirks, because one more kiss and Dean will shatter.</p><p>He leans down, mouthing against Cas' erection through his pants before hooking his fingers into the waistband and pulling it down along with the boxers in one go. Cas' erection springs to life and Dean goes to work, wrapping a hand around the base and stroking upwards. Cas bucks his hip, hands curling into fists on either side of him. He flicks his thumb across the slit on the way up, drawing precome. </p><p>"Dean, please…" Cas pants, eyes now open as he watches him. Dean takes a deep breath and swallows Cas down in one go, taking as much as he can without gagging. He's a bit out of practice but remembers enough tricks to make a guy's toes curl, courtesy of turning tricks. He grabs one of Cas' hands and guides it to his head, letting Cas fix the pace. </p><p>Cas though, doesn't thrust up into him, leaving Dean feeling frustrated. He pulls off slowly, running his tongue along the vein underneath on his way up. </p><p>"Let go, baby." Dean mumbles, playing of the pet name like a calculated choice. "Fuck my mouth."</p><p>Cas groans and tightens his hold on Dean's hair, a soft whine escaping Dean's throat on it's own accord. He swallows Cas down again, this time hollowing his cheeks and sucking hard, seeing how far he can go before Cas loses it. </p><p>It doesn't take much long before Cas starts slowly thrusting into his mouth but Dean's not happy with that. He pulls off almost all the way to suck on the head while rolling Cas' balls in his palm. Cas grips Dean's hair and lowers him down, Dean happily obliging. Cas aims a few sharp thrusts far into his throat, ridiculously hot sounds escaping his chest each time his head hits the back of Dean's throat.</p><p>"I'm so close, Dean." Cas pants. "I need you…"</p><p>Dean ignores the pang in his chest and the sting in his eyes as he doubles his efforts, pulling all the right stops to push Cas off the edge. Barely minutes later, Cas' hips stutter as he comes down Dean's throat, hand gripping Dean's hair tight and holding him in place. The taste is bitter but not unpleasant and Dean swallows down dutifully, sucking Cas through the aftershocks. He pulls off, grin wide. He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand and helps Cas get dressed, finding new excuses to avoid meeting his gaze.</p><p>"Come here, Dean." Cas reaches out, hands fiddling with Dean's zipper. </p><p>"Nah, man. I'm good." Dean lies through his teeth. He's ridiculously hard but he's not doing this for himself. "We only have a few hours before we have to hit the road."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Nope, no buts. Come on." He steps out of the car and holds his hand out. Cas takes it and climbs out behind him.</p><p>"I want to return the favor some other time." Cas says.</p><p>Dean closes his eyes for a moment before finding his bravest face. "We'll see about that."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Dean leans his head against the steering wheel, feeling the purr of Baby’s engine vibrating through him. It’s hard to breath, the air mixed with the scent of himself, Cas and sex. He’s plumbed the depths of the kind of low that no amount of faking can mask. </p><p>The passenger seat door opens and Cas slips in, dressed in some cheap suit he doesn’t remember getting. It doesn’t fit him well enough, but Cas manages to pull it off somehow. The blue tie is crooked as always.</p><p>“Where’s Sam?” Dean asks, shifting the gear.</p><p>“Sam went to the morgue.” Cas answers. “Are you alright, Dean?”</p><p>Dean doesn’t take his eyes off the road. “Dandy.”</p><p>The drive is silent, short of the music spilling from the stereo. Dean doesn’t comment on the side glances Cas throws at him and Cas, mercifully, doesn’t comment on the way Dean’s knuckles white out with his grip on the wheel. </p><p>They pull up next to a small house off the main road, with an empty dog house. It takes several knocks for the resident to open the door and Dean utilizes the time to ceremonially fix Cas’ tie. It's easier to pretend they’re fine when he doesn’t have to look Cas in the eye.</p><p>“Agent Gibbs and this is my partner Agent Winston.” The flashing of badges are no more than muscle memory at this point. “We would like to ask a few questions regarding your ex-husband’s death.”</p><p>“Cindy.” She holds the door open, “I don’t know what else you’ve left to drill me over. I told everything I know to the cops.”</p><p>“We’ll be quick. Just a few routine questions.”</p><p>“Ask away, then.”</p><p>She gestures towards the couch and Dean settles down, Cas pressed up right next to him, not a spot for Jesus between them. Dean clears his throat.</p><p>“How long has it been since the divorce?” It comes out a little harsher than intended, considering the glare Cas throws at him.</p><p>Cindy sighs. “Two years.”</p><p>“Have you been in contact with him since then?”</p><p>“Not really.” She says. “Saw him once or twice, it’s a small county.”</p><p>“Do you have any children?”</p><p>Her face darkens at that. She draws in a shuddery breath. “We had a daughter.” She sniffs, wiping her face with the back of her palm.</p><p>“What happened to her?”</p><p>“My partner here means to say that we’re so sorry for your loss.” Cas interjects. </p><p>“How is my dead daughter relevant to this?” She snaps.</p><p>Dean ignores the pointed looks Cas is aiming at him. “Ma’am we just need to cover all the-”</p><p>“She overdosed last year.” Cindy chokes out. “I was a shitty parent and didn’t bother looking out for my kid and she died in a pool of her own vomit. Is that what you wanted to know?”</p><p>The room falls silent at that, Dean fiddling with words to find a reply. Cas breaks the silence.</p><p>“We’re so sorry, ma’am.” He says. </p><p>“Everyone is.” Cindy sighs. “Now if you’re done, I’ll have to ask you to leave.” </p><p>Dean doesn’t need to be told twice. He’s out of the door even before it’s fully open, handing his card to Cindy.</p><p>“Dean, what was that?” Cas grabs him by the elbow.</p><p>“What was what?”</p><p>“Don’t act dumb, Dean.” Cas says, “Since when are you so insensitive?”</p><p>Dean tears his hand away from Cas’ grip, “You don’t need to fucking teach me how to work a case.” He snaps. “Quit acting like it’s your job to play my shrink.”</p><p>“Dean-”</p><p>“Just get in the damn car for God’s sake.” He runs a hand through his hair, the urge to run away and hide overwhelming him. Cas doesn’t say anything after that, every stretch of silence more and more unbearable. Dean feels like shit. Cas gave up his grace only to be left with a broken shell of a man as some crappy consolation prize. </p><p>There’s no music loud enough to drown the screaming in his head.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>He picks up a burger for Cas and heads back to the motel, downing the last ounce of whiskey straight from the bottle. He finds Cas sitting up on the bed, fingers skimming over the case file as he mouths the words. Dean watches for a minute, eyes raking over his slightly shower damp hair and the expanse of tan skin now visible above the faded blue t-shirt. It’s easier this way, to pretend Cas is some stranger he’s checking out through the corner of his eyes and not his forbidden apple. </p><p>It doesn’t take Cas long to notice his presence. “Hello, Dean.” It’s gentle and kind as always, like he sees something in Dean that he himself cannot find.</p><p>“Heya, Cas. Got you burger.” He sits down next to Cas, hoping to make this better.</p><p>“Thank you, Dean.” Cas replies, setting the paper bag on the nightstand, eyes not leaving Dean. “From what Cindy said, the patterns of deaths are similar in both her daughter and Mr.Heckle. What do you think?”</p><p>“I think you should fuck me.” Dean spits out before his brain can chicken out.</p><p>Cas gapes at him long enough for Dean to lose his last bit of patience. He grabs him by the back of his neck and kisses him, hard and desperate. He doesn’t need to feel gentle.</p><p>Cas pulls away, panting, "Dean, are you sure?"</p><p>"You gotta stop asking that, Cas." He chuckles mirthlessly, ignoring the ache in his chest. He grabs all the crap muddled on the bed and tosses it on the nightstand, climbing into Cas' lap. "It's gonna be good, baby. I promise."</p><p>He mouths down Cas' jaw, the soft skin like heaven against his lips. He feels fingers thread into his hair, tugging sharply, making Dean whine from the pleasant edge of pain. Their clothes hit the floor one by one and soon he's sprawled on his stomach, Cas stroking his thighs. Dean spreads his legs, chasing the endgame. </p><p>"Come on, Cas, I'm not some chick."</p><p>Cas' hands still and Dean feels soft kisses being pressed to his shoulder. "That doesn't mean you don't deserve to be taken care of."</p><p>He's thankful to be on his stomach because Cas doesn't have to see the tears threatening to leak out of his eyes. Lubed fingers graze his rim and Dean cants his ass back, fisting the sheets tighter. He remembers to fake the sounds, telling himself it's his own choice. Cas keeps mouthing over his back and Dean tries his best not to shake when a finger pushes inside.</p><p>"Tell me if anything hurts." Cas mumbles against the shell of his ear.</p><p>A strangled whine escapes his throat and Dean thrusts back against the finger in his ass, looking for ways to make it hurt. </p><p>"More, Cas…please." Dean begs, his dignity lying scattered on the floor along with his haphazardly strewn clothes. Cas doesn't hesitate before pushing in another finger, the pace quicker than before. Dean moans, shame curling in his chest as he thrusts back for more and more, all air in the room suddenly not enough. </p><p>"Dean, please…I want to see you." Cas pants after a while, dragging his hard length dragging between his cheeks.</p><p>Dean lets out a muffled gasp, knuckles white as he curls his fingers into the sheets, holding on for dear life. </p><p>He shakes his head, a fresh set of tears making a wet spot on the pillow. His throat feels like barbed wire when he speaks, </p><p>"Just fuck me. Please."</p><p>Cas obliges, lining up against his hole and pushing in agonizingly slow, giving Dean enough time to feel the stretch and burn. He shouldn't be enjoying this, but he can't help it. </p><p>"Faster, Cas." Dean chokes out. "Fuck me good."</p><p>Cas pushes in further, groaning when he bottoms out. Dean swallows down the noises threatening to escape his chest, the stretch painful but the fullness making up for it. Cas pulls out almost all the way before thrusting back in, the slap of skin on skin filling the room. </p><p>"Dean…gorgeous…" Cas pants against his shoulder, picking up the pace. </p><p>"Faster, baby." Dean moans, the need to have his brain fucked out like fire under his skin. "S' all you got?"</p><p>Cas growls, grabbing Dean's hips up and thrusting into him at a brutal pace, the bed frame shifting back and forth with the force. Dean groans when a hand wraps around his neglected dick, not caring anymore. He just lies there, letting Cas take whatever he wants and use Dean however he wants. It's better this way, to pretend he's not here.</p><p>Dean comes first, clenching around Cas, pushing him off the edge. He feels the rush of warm liquid inside him, his name a chant on Cas' lips as his vision whites out from all of the senses crowding his mind.</p><p>"Dean?" Soothing fingers run through his hair, and Dean feels himself melt into the touch. "Did I hurt you?"</p><p>"Nah, Cas." Dean chokes out, drawing a deep breath and slapping on his best grin before turning around. "You gonna eat that burger or what?"</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>"The EMF was going berserk so we know it’s a ghost, though we can’t be sure it’s the daughter." Sam says, "It's not like her parents were involved in her death."</p><p>"But, Cindy showed regret in not being there for her daughter. Perhaps, she's holding a vendetta against her parents." Cas suggests.</p><p>Dean takes a long pull from his beer. "We've been at this for three days. If it's Cindy's daughter, I guess her plan for revenge is done." He says, "She was cremated. Nothing left for us here."</p><p>As though on cue, his phone goes off. He slides the green button to answer, pressing it to his ears.</p><p>"Hello?" </p><p>"Agent?" Cindy cries from the other end. "You told me to call if there's anything weird happening."</p><p>"Shit. What's wrong?"</p><p>"Fuck." Cindy curses, "I'm trapped in the house and I don't know what's going on. Please, I need help."</p><p>"Okay. Cindy, I need you to listen carefully," Dean grabs his keys and sprints out of the door, Sam and Cas behind him, "grab some salt and draw a circle around yourself."</p><p>"What the fuck?" He hears something crash into a wall. "Salt circle?"</p><p>"Just do it, lady!" Dean pulls out of the driveway.</p><p>Barely five minutes of reckless driving later, they are bursting in through Cindy's front door, guns in hand. A plate misses Dean's face by nearly inches and clatters against the wall.</p><p>The living room is a mess and Cindy is curled up on the floor, a flickering figure standing over her. </p><p>"Jenna, baby…I'm so sorry." </p><p>Dean fires his first shot, sparks flying as the spirit bursts into flames.</p><p>"What…" Cindy shakes with fear, eyes drifting across the room. </p><p>Sam and Cas run over to help her up, murmuring assurance as she stares at them in shock.</p><p>"My baby…how did she…?"</p><p>"Cindy, your daughter hasn't found peace yet." Dean grabs the bottle of salt strewn on the floor. "She's a vengeful spirit. You need to tell me if you are holding any of her possessions with you."</p><p>Cindy knits her brows together, realization slowly dawning on her face. "I have nothing other than a pendant she used to wear."</p><p>"Where's that?" </p><p>She fishes through a tiny chest on the coffee table and pulls out a green pendant. Cas takes it from her, patting his pocket for the lighter. A scream echoes through the room and Cas goes flying back against the wall, the pendant clattering to the floor. Fuck.</p><p>Dean pulls the trigger, the girl sidestepping easily, dodging the shot. She waves her hand and the gun falls from his grip.</p><p>"I have nothing against you. This is between me and my mother." She says.</p><p>"Jenna, please!" Cindy calls. "Baby, I know I messed up. I'm so sorry."</p><p>He reaches for his gun the exact moment Sam makes a beeline for a candle stand on the mantelpiece, both efforts futile as Jenna sends them crashing into a wall with a flick of her wrist. She curls her hand into a fist and Cindy screams, clutching her stomach. </p><p>"You let me die." Jenna sneers. "I only wanted someone to look out for me, but you… you and dad were busy fighting. You did this to me."</p><p>"Jenna, revenge won't give you what you're looking for." Dean chokes out. "You have to let go."</p><p>"She needs to suffer." Jenna grits out, "She needs to know everything I went-" Her words die out, eyes turning glassy as flames erupt around her, swallowing her in its wave.  </p><p>He turns to Cas who stares back at him, clutching his own shoulder in one hand and the burned up pendant in the other. </p><p>Dean smirks, "Took you long enough."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>"Hey, how're you holding up?" Dean hands Cindy a glass of water.</p><p>"How do you think?" Cindy glares at him through the rim of the glass.</p><p>"Cindy, I know how tough it can be to digest all of this. But you need to know it's not your fault." He says, "Sometimes you mess up and stuff happens... stuff you can't fix. All that's left is to move on."</p><p>"Easier said than done." Cindy sighs. "Even if she's gonna, the baggage is still left unpacked."</p><p>"So you toss it in the basement and forget it ever existed." Probably not good advice, but Dean's no Dr.Phil.</p><p>"Until it comes back to haunt you when you least expect." </p><p>Dean rubs a hand across his face. "In my line of work, baggage only slows you down and gets you killed." He says. "You gotta power through it."</p><p>"If you're not FBI then what are you? Ghostbusters?"</p><p>Dean laughs, "Nah, but we get that a lot." He pats her on the back and stands on his feet, looking around the debauched living room "We could help you clean."</p><p>She shakes her head, "Just get outta here." </p><p>He finds Sam pressing an ice bag against Cas' shoulder, the former angel wincing. </p><p>Dean slaps on a grin, muting the sharp pain in his chest, "Regret being human already?" </p><p>"Not at all." Cas fixes him with an icy glare, sending chills down to his spine. </p><p>Dean snaps his mouth shut, not wanting to dig his own grave any deeper.</p><p>"How did she get so strong?" Sam asks, as they pull out of Cindy's driveway.</p><p>Dean shrugs, "A whole year plus all the teenage angst seems enough." Through the rearview mirror, Dean watches Cas stare out of the window, expression solemn.</p><p>"You did good, Cas." Dean says, meaning it. "Saved our bacon, didn't you?"</p><p>"And sent a soul away with unsettled grievances." Cas deadpans.</p><p>"Sometimes it's gonna be like that, Cas." Dean says. "You can't blame yourself for doing what had to be done."</p><p>Cas scoffs, meeting Dean's eyes in the mirror, everything unspoken between them hanging in the air.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>After their third stop at the gas station on the way back to the bunker, Sam offers to take the back seat, dozing off the second all of his eight feet hits the upholstery. Dean turns down the music, not wanting to disturb if Cas wants to sleep.</p><p>Cas sits up straight instead, "Are we going to keep ignoring everything that has happened between us?"</p><p>Dean tightens his grip on the wheel, "What do you wanna know, Cas?"</p><p>"Everything." Cas says, voice barely a whisper. "Why one minute you're kissing me and the other you can't even look at me."</p><p>He has no answers to give Cas. No explanations, no excuses. Cas means the world to him and every second he spends next to Cas kills him slowly. It shouldn't hurt this much, not when he knows he doesn't deserve it. He's not drunk enough to grab Cas and kiss him but not sober enough to process everything he has been feeling for Cas since that barn in bumfuck, Illinois. </p><p>Lust is easy to ignore, that's not the case for love.</p><p>"You know, Dean," Cas continues, "When I had my grace, I could sense the callings of your soul. I thought it meant I knew all of you. Now, as a human, things are getting clearer." Dean feels the air grow thicker around them. "All these years and you're still a mystery."</p><p>There's fondness in his tone, along with a twinge of disappointment and regret that makes Dean want to dig a hole in the floor and curl up in it.</p><p>"That doesn't change the fact that I love you."</p><p>If Dean hadn't stopped himself from slamming the brake at the last minute, they would have crashed into a lamp post for sure.</p><p>"Fuck, Cas. You can't say shit like that." Dean feels his heart hammering in his chest. </p><p>"You can't possibly tell me you never knew." Cas replies. "And you never gave me a chance to tell you."</p><p>"You don't love me, Cas." Dean swallows the lump in his throat, something in his chest snapping like a dry twig. "You deserve better than me." </p><p>"I would never ask anything of you, Dean." Cas says, "It's nothing different even if I'm human."</p><p>Dean's up and running with dental floss and crappy drugstore bandages holding him together, but his heart is dead and battered, the pieces so far scattered away, there's nothing left to be picked up and stitched together. The night goes colder and Dean has so much to tell Cas, so much to let out of his chest. But none of those thousand things are said again.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Dean lets the last empty bottle of whiskey clutter to the floor, leaning back against the headboard. He absentmindedly picks at a clotted patch of blood on his forearm, watching fresh drops taking its place from the partially dried up wound. </p><p>Since their last talk in the car, Dean hasn't exchanged a word with Cas, not even the usual forced pleasantries. He sometimes wishes it was someone else who pulled him out of hell. Some junkless angel who doesn't give a crap about Dean and not Cas, who's so full of goodness. Cas who would die for anyone in the blink of an eye. Cas who gave up his grace for Dean.</p><p>Cas who Dean is desperately in love with.</p><p>He drags his hammered ass out into the hallway, walking aimlessly until he spots Cas in the library. He sneaks in and presses a kiss to the nape of Cas' exposed neck, making the man jolt.</p><p>"Dean, what are you doing?"</p><p>"What does it look like?" Dean waggles his eyebrows, suddenly feeling less like his nerves are on fire. He bends down, biting and sucking at the tender skin of Cas' neck, feeling the man shiver under him.</p><p>Suddenly, there is no skin for him to kiss, instead Cas is next to him, a hand wrapped around his waist. "You have had too much to drink, Dean." He lets himself be guided over to a chair, too tired to protest.</p><p>He stretches out his hand, grabbing whatever he can find of Cas and pulling the man down to his lap. He kisses him sloppily on the mouth, not complaining when Cas doesn't kiss him back.</p><p>"Dean, stop." Cas pulls away, cupping his face. "Please."</p><p>"I'm tryna fix this, Cas. Just let me." Dean knows how pathetic he sounds but he can't find it in himself to care. "I let you down more than once, I don't wanna do it again. Just let me make this right."</p><p>"Sex is not the way to do that, Dean." Cas leans his forehead against his. "Not when you're hurting like this."</p><p>"I know you wanna fuck me, Cas." Dean slurs. "I know how much you enjoyed it last time."</p><p>"Dean, you can't use me to punish yourself."</p><p>He regains some of his sobriety at that, his consciousness striking him in the form of anger. </p><p>"You think you know squat about me, don't you?" He snaps, pushing Cas away. "I don't know what the fuck you're looking to get from me but I got nothing, Cas."</p><p>"I don't want anything, Dean." Cas replies, tired and shaky. "I just want you to be okay."</p><p>"I'm far from okay, Cas." Dean spits out. "I don't know what you see in me but I'm just a broken mess. I'm a hopeless cause, man."</p><p>"Not to me, Dean." Cas cups his cheek, again with that gentle touch that makes him wish he were dead instead. "Not when it's you."</p><p>Dean pulls away from his touch, not trusting himself to speak without getting the words stuck in his throat. He leaves, aiming for the garage, ignoring Cas' calls telling him he's too drunk to drive. Ramming his car into a tree is one thing but it beats feeling like his heart is being torn open from the inside.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The rest of the night is a flash of blur. One moment, he's potting balls and the next moment, a fist is connecting to his face and he's falling to the floor.</p><p>"You fucking asshole." Someone above him says. His jaw throbs a little. Scratch that. It throbs a lot. </p><p>Someone is pulling the man away and helping Dean up from the floor. Probably the bouncer, Dean thinks. </p><p>Another pair of arms circle his shoulder. <em> How many bouncers does this bar have? </em>But, the touch is too gentle, too nice. Dean snaps his head up, his eyes watery and a coppery taste in his mouth.</p><p>"Cas?"</p><p>"Let's go home, Dean."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Dean wakes up to the feeling of something soft being pressed to his face. His eyes take a while to adjust, the lights in the room too bright. </p><p>"Does it hurt, Dean?" Cas is kneeling next to him, running a warm washcloth over his cheek. He registers the sting only a bit later, wincing when Cas applies pressure. He's sprawled in the tub in his boxers, being useless and a burden on anyone who's nice enough to give a rat's ass about him.</p><p>"Cas," Dean breathes, holding his hand out, only hoping Cas would take it. Cas does. Of course he does. "Cas, I'm so fucking sorry…"</p><p>"Dean, you're safe. I'm here." Cas drops the cloth, climbing into the bathtub and pulling Dean into a hug. Cas' chest is warm under the worn out Led Zeppelin shirt that used to be Dean's. He likes seeing Cas in his clothes. Maybe he should take Cas shopping, it will be nice. If only his head would stop spinning...</p><p>"Dean," Cas shakes his shoulder and Dean blinks up at him. Cas looks so worried and Dean wants nothing more than to wipe away the frown. His chest feels like a crumbling brick wall. </p><p>"Dean, breathe." Cas instructs. Breathe. Yeah, he can do that.</p><p>Dean gasps into the former angel's chest, feeling air rush into his lungs. <em> Shit. </em></p><p>"Cas…" Nothing else comes out of his mouth except dry sobs. Cas keeps holding him tight, hands rubbing circles over his back. </p><p>Cas' voice is barely a whisper when he speaks, "Do I need to call Sam?"</p><p>"No." Dean pants, his heart hammering in his ears. "No. I'm fine."</p><p>"You're not." Cas says, and there's no accusation in his tone. "Stop saying you're fine, Dean. It's alright to not be fine for once in your life."</p><p>"Just stay with me. Please." Dean chokes out, ignoring the quiver in his voice. </p><p>"I'm not going anywhere, Dean." </p><p>He doesn't remember how long he has been sitting there until he starts shivering a little, the room having stopped spinning a while ago. Cas helps him up and out of the tub, wrapping his old trench coat over him. Dean never really understood Cas' sentimental value towards the thing. He draws it tighter around himself. It smells like Cas. </p><p>"You might have a concussion." Cas says. </p><p>"What the fuck happened?"</p><p>"You started picking fights with someone at the bar and he punched you. You might also have a black eye in the morning."</p><p>Dean laughs, "Yeah, that sounds about right."</p><p>Silence falls as Cas helps him to bed, peeling off the covers and stacking the pillows against his head board. Dean takes the leeway to pull Cas down next to him.</p><p>"Dean, I told you we don't-"</p><p>"Hey, not that." Dean cuts him off. "Just hear me out okay."</p><p>Cas blinks at him before slowly nodding. "Okay."</p><p>"I fucked up and I'm sorry." That was easy. "I don't know what to do with everything I'm feeling, Cas. The last time I did anything with a guy, it was for money to keep Sammy's belly full." He swallows, eyes drifting away. "All those times I went back with random women, I was just running away from everything I felt for you."</p><p>"Dean," Cas tries, but he's on a roll.</p><p>"And then you were human." He continues. "On one hand, it meant you wouldn't leave but then, you gave up your grace for <em> me. </em> You were trying to fix me while breaking yourself, Cas. It fucked me up. While I wallowed in my own bullshit, I forgot how hard this was for you. I know this is selfish but," he takes Cas' hand in his, just to make sure this isn't some fucked up fever dream, "I can't do this without you."</p><p>“You don’t have to, Dean.” Cas says. “You’re constantly beating yourself up over something or the other and every time I have a vague idea of what you’re going through. But this time I’m human, and my own emotions turned out to be more than I could handle.”</p><p>“That’s the thing, Cas. You got your own crap to deal with and I shouldn’t dump my baggage on you.” Cas opens his mouth to say something but Dean shakes his head. “I know that ain’t gonna stop you ‘cause you’re too good. So let me shoulder some of your weight too.”</p><p>Cas cups his cheek and leans closer, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He pulls away, a shy smile gracing his lips. “Is this okay?” </p><p>Dean can’t manage to look away from the pair of blue eyes holding his gaze. “Yeah.” He breathes. “<em> Fuck </em>.” The intensity of the situation hits him all at once. Cas loves him and he’s still here, even after everything Dean put him through. Talk about miracles. </p><p>“I dunno what I’m doing here, Cas. I just know I can’t let you down anymore.” </p><p>“I would be lying if I say some of our interactions haven’t hurt me.” Cas confesses. “But, never once think I wouldn’t do all of it again, if it meant you would be safe.” </p><p>Dean stares at the former angel in awe, knowing no matter what he does, it won’t make up for what Cas gave up for him. </p><p>“I love you."</p><p>He sort of expected a few bulbs to blow out or the ceiling to come crashing down on him. But nothing happens, except for the feeling of a Mike Tyson sized weight lifting off his chest. He loved Cassie, and Lisa, but none of them made him want to tear apart the world for them. None of them made him lose his faith in their absence. </p><p>
  <em> None of them were Cas. </em>
</p><p>"Dean you don't have to-" Cas begins.</p><p>"I want to, Cas. I do." Dean ushers. "All these years I thought it'd just go away but nothing, and I mean nothing on God's green earth made me fall this hard." He laughs when Cas scrunches his brows together. "Maybe falling isn't the right word, it's still too soon, I guess."</p><p>Cas doesn't say anything for long until the words fall out of his mouth almost a murmur, "Can I kiss you?" </p><p>Dean ducks his head, feeling heat creep up to his face. "You don't have to ask, angel."</p><p>Cas apparently likes the answer judging from the way he drags Dean forward by the back of his neck into a mindless kiss, teeth and tongue clashing. It's perfect. His lips hurt a little, probably from the bruise on it. None of the pain registers because everything around him is just enveloped by the feeling of Cas. Dean tries to breathe through the thumping of his heart, reminding himself there's no rush here, no expectations, just Dean and Cas.</p><p>Cas pulls back, "Not an angel." He whispers.</p><p>"You'll always be to me." Dean replies, 'no chick flick moments' be damned. "What did I do to deserve you?"</p><p>"I could say that for myself." Cas says against the shared space between their mouths. </p><p>"Nothing good then." Dean mutters, before his monkey brain can stop him.</p><p>"Dean, I never really understood how you can speak so low of yourself." Cas says, nothing short of genuine concern in his voice. "You are the bravest man I have ever met."</p><p>"You gotta meet more people." Dean jokes, his limbs coiled around Cas, keeping him close. He drops his head on Cas' shoulder, pressing soft kisses to every bit of skin he can find. "I don't know what you see in me but I'm gonna take the compliment."</p><p>"Seems like you really do have a concussion if that's the case." Cas teases. Dean snorts, sliding his hands under Cas' shirt, feeling the warmth he so desperately craves. Soothing fingers run through his hair and Dean sighs into the touch, just because he can. He scratches his fingernails over Cas' back experimentally, feeling the man stiffen underneath his hands. Dean chuckles softly, dragging his teeth over the soft tendon on Cas' neck.</p><p>"Dean…" Cas moans his name, "as tempting as it- it is, you need rest."</p><p>Dean pulls away, and he'd die before he admits to be pouting. "Not even a quickie?"</p><p>"We can have all the quickies once you are well rested." Cas replies, handing him a glass of water and a few advils from the nightstand. </p><p>"Oh we will, baby." Dean winks, enjoying the way Cas' cheeks turn pink. He downs the pills and water, ignoring the ache in his joints as he slides down under the covers, patting the space next to him. "Get in here, Cas."</p><p>Cas obliges, sliding next to Dean, his presence warm and solid.</p><p>"What did you tell Sam?"</p><p>"I told him you went to get a drink and will be back soon. So he went to bed."</p><p>"It should be fun explaining all this to him in the morning." Dean throws his left arm around Cas' waist, pulling him closer.</p><p>"You don't have to if you're not ready." Cas says. <em> Compassionate bastard. </em></p><p>Dean shakes his head, "Nah, man. I'm going to." He says, "Besides, something tells me he won't be that surprised."</p><p>"Whatever you choose to do, I will be there with you." Cas says, and continues after a beat of silence, "I love you so much."</p><p>"Ditto, Sunshine." Dean smiles, all of it too surreal. "We really were a couple of idiots."</p><p>"We saved the world, more than once. That should make up for it."</p><p>"It fucking better," he replies, "because, I'm not ready to mess this up again."</p><p>Cas offers him a soft smile, "I believe, after all this time, the universe owes us that much."</p><p>He leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to his angel's lips.</p><p>"Damn right, it does."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello my lovely humans,</p><p>Thank for reading! I hope you all enjoyed this little something I cooked up. I had a hard time not tearing up because these boys are just too sad and needs a lot of hugs.</p><p>Leave your responses and suggestions in the comments and kudos will be appreciated. Check out my other works if you're interested. No pressure!</p><p>Love you all so very much.<br/>-A<br/></p></blockquote></div></div>
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